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It was an unimaginable suffering, greater than any mother has to endure. However, even more pain and suffering followed when the terrible truth came to light. Her ex-partner killed 24-day-old Ruby and 21-month-old Logan in a perverse attempt to get Laura to stay with him, writes the Daily Mirror.

Laura says today that she is haunted by the thoughts of how her little ones died and that she is torn by guilt that she could not save them from Jordan Monaghan. “I always feel guilty, I feel guilty every day and I constantly think about whether I could have done something different. I carry it with me every day. I will carry it with me for the rest of my life,” said Laura, 29.

Little Ruby suffocated in the cradle at the family home in Blackburn. Eight months later, Monaghan killed Logan in the pool cabin and then took his body home in a wheelchair. Doctors concluded that Ruby had pneumonia, while the cause of Logan’s death could not be determined. Laura never suspected that the children had died at the hands of their then father.

But five years later, in 2018, information came to light about the death of another child, and police arrested a 30-year-old construction worker in Monaghan on suspicion of murder. Terrifyingly, while on bail and under investigation, he killed his girlfriend Evie Adams, 23, with a deadly cocktail of tramadol and diazepam.

In December, Monaghan was found guilty of three counts of murder and two counts of attempted murder of an unidentified child. He was sentenced to a minimum of 40 years in prison. Frighteningly, it turned out that he tried to strangle Ruby a few days before her death.

Laura says the family experienced the best Christmas since Ruby was born on December 8, 2012: “I felt like the happiest mother in the world, with my little family. That was all I wanted. “I was determined to give the children everything I did not have.”

But this idyll will soon be broken in a horrible way. Laura was sorting her clothes when she heard Monaghan calling to her. As she hurried downstairs, she saw him holding Ruby, who was struggling to catch her breath. Laura panicked and called an ambulance, and Ruby was kept in hospital for three days. But on New Year’s Eve, a day after he was fired, Monaghan killed her.

“The kids were in bed, we were watching a movie and so we celebrated the New Year. Then I went to bed. Jordan stayed awake for Ruby to give her a bottle at two in the morning. I woke up early in the morning to Jordan’s calls. ‘ “I found out she was dead. We called an ambulance and went to the hospital with her, but it was too late,” Laura said.

A routine police investigation followed and Ruby’s death was attributed to acute bronchial pneumonia. Laura was completely devastated: “I was completely devastated after Ruby died. I relied on Jordan for support. He was very strong and practical. He planned the funeral and then returned to work. Just keep working. “But again, I thought he had to stay strong for me.”

“I did not doubt anything. We focused on Logan because he was all we had left. “Jordan had a very close relationship with his son,” she added. But tensions between the two escalated when Laura found out that her fiancé was not paying rent and that he had become seriously addicted to gambling. Still in a state of grief, she told Monaghan that the relationship was over and that she had to move out.

The very next day, Monaghan killed Logan. He took the child to a local beach and strangled him in the locker room. He took the child home in a stroller, pretending to be asleep.

“Jordan told me to wake Logan as he went out to get the pizza. I knew what happened the moment I lifted the rain cover on the cart. He looked just like Ruby. Jordan tried to revive him. Trying to cover up what he did, he did the show, knowing he was already dead. “I was shocked, completely devastated,” Laura said.

Monaghan gave gruesome interviews, talking about his family’s broken heart over the loss of their two young children, begging “for answers”. The distressed mother suffered a breakdown and was admitted to hospital for psychiatric care. But she and Monaghan renewed their relationship, and Laura says: “Jordan visited me every day. He really supported me. “It was about my two children, the only one who knew how I really felt.”

The couple tried to continue living together, but Monaghan started gambling again, so Laura finally broke up. Then, in 2018, came the news that the deaths are under investigation again. Monaghan was arrested, but still got a chance to attack again. While on bail in October 2019, he killed his new partner and faked a suicide note after she tried to end their relationship.

During the 10-week trial in Preston Court, jurors were told that Monaghan committed the killings because he could not face rejection from his partners. Laura says Monaghan killed Ruby and Logan to make her stay with him, knowing she would not leave if she lost her children.

“He knew we had problems and I think he did it to bring us closer, knowing that I would rely on him for support. I relied on him too, and he knew I needed him. , explains Laura.

The tombstone on Ruby’s grave pays homage to the “little princess” and reads “To our love, Mom and Dad.” Laura then had no idea that Monaghan was responsible: “I visit their graves every week and it is extremely painful to see that. Now I’m looking for ways to remove Dad.

Although Laura says it was comforting to meet Evie Adams’s family at trial, she is also haunted by what could have happened if she and Monaghan had stayed together: “It’s scary to think what could have happened if we hadn’t broken up.”

Laura also wonders what could have been done differently, explaining: “When I found Ruby, she was covered with a blanket. Looking back, it made no sense. If she really did not breathe, would he find out? Logan took him for a swim without me. “Jordan hated swimming, he never went to the pool. Then he came home and insisted that I wake Logan to be the first to find out he was dead. “I still struggle not to blame myself.”

Laura was Monagan’s sister’s best friend and knew him from a young age: “Looking back, he controlled me even then, but I did not realize it. Nobody understood. “In my worst nightmares, I could not imagine what awaited me in the future.”

When Laura was 16, Jordan proposed to her on one knee, and a year later they moved into a shared apartment. “We calmed down and were very happy. Family and friends thought well of Jordan. There were no warning signs,” Laura recalled.

The couple tried to have a child, and in 2011 Laura’s dreams came true when Logan was born. Monaghan seemed to be a “good father”. Now Laura can hardly be forced to say his name, calling him rubbish all the time.

Laura is trying to rebuild her life with the help of her new partner Andy Chambers (33). She had to trust men again for a long time. She prays one day to have a baby.

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